Day Two

Monday morning, there is a 10 AM meeting nearby. When the basket was passed, the leader of the meeting stated that newcomers are encouraged to buy literature instead. I walked over to the literature table and looked for literature not already included in my Newcomer's Packet. I purchased a few items. In just a few short hours, one of them was to become life changing!

It was a little 15¢ pamphlet called "JUST FOR TODAY". I will try to live through this day only...

After the 10 AM meeting, I walked Greenlake and then went home. I had lunch while reading my new literature. And there it was, just as I was struggling with the decision to go the cupboard for dessert.

"I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime."

And I got up from my chair and left the kitchen. Because I could pass on that dessert for 12 hours. The thought of never eating dessert again was unbearable. But for today, for the next 12 hours, it was OK.

And so with that my journey in OA began in earnest. I went to a meeting almost every day those first couple of weeks. At about the same time, I literally fell into my food plan. I saw the PBS special "You: On A Diet" with Dr. Michael Roizen, recorded it and watched it many times over, borrowed the book from the library, and eventually bought the book. It's similar to HOW and it's my bible!

I remained abstinent for almost 3 weeks before falling off the wagon on my one and only binge (so far). It may sound funny but interestingly enough, I am so glad it happened. I learned so much from that experience. Although the actual eating started on a Friday afternoon, after a meeting, the feelings had cropped up the day before. And that was really the trigger. I didn't know that then, but I know it now. Since that binge (a mini-binge actually), I've had plenty of time to analyze it and be prepared.

I made a "You-Turn" and got back on the wagon Friday night and began recovery again. Saturday morning, I started with my usual water aerobics class and a swim and remained abstinent. And I've been abstinent ever since. 100 plus days and counting...

I'm off to NY for a week to see my mom, go to a Yankees game and catch up with a friend. I will post again when I return.

My First Post

...and I am a compulsive overeater.

Wow! It felt good to say that.

I joined OA in January feeling totally helpless and powerless over food. As a New Year's Resolution, I had started a diet on January 1st. Between Christmas and New Year's, I had gained 6 1/2 pounds. All I thought about was food that week. So, at a plump 171 1/2 on January 1, I started a diet. The first week went well and I was back to my Christmas Day weight (165). But then the yo-yoing started and I was up and down, up and down. You get the picture. For the first time, I felt that I could not do this alone. I needed help.

After lots of searching on the Internet, my options were Alli (I had never tried a diet aid before and after reading about its side effects, I decided to pass on it), Weight Watchers or OA. Between Weight Watchers and OA, OA was free (except for the Seventh Tradition), so I thought I'd give that a try first. I actually thought I might not be heavy enough to join! I really thought you had to be obese to be in OA. When I weighed 250 pounds, I was obese. But I knew I was not obese now. Boy, was I surprised when I walked into my first meeting on January 20, 2008. There were people there of all sizes: thin, too thin, HWP, chubby and obese. I never made the connection that anorexia, bulimia and compulsive overeating were all part of the same disease.

I had a Newcomer's meeting where I mentioned that I was agnostic and concerned about the whole HP spirituality thing. It was suggested that I make the "OA meeting" my "HP" and work with that concept for now. Yep, got me right over that hurdle and into the program.

That was Sunday night, Day 1. I will talk about Day 2 in my next post.

The Serentity Prayer

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the
difference.”