Where's the Fun? This is such an Isolating Disease.

It's been 3 weeks since my last post. So much has happened. Slowly, the pieces are coming together. I am a lawyer who does real estate closings as a vendor for various title companies. I literally fell into this during the dot.com bust in 2002. I had been working for a tech company when the whole team was cut and then some. I enjoy real estate; it's the first section of the paper I read every Sunday but I could never talk myself into being an agent because my biggest fear was in meeting new people. So I've decided to take the plunge.

Recovery means I just love talking to new people now. And I love entertaining and being social, and just getting out there. That doesn't mean I don't have my moments—I do but they really are few and far between these days. So, I will continue to research this (for example, which company should I sign with?), make a decision and move forward with my life.

On the social side, my July 4th fireworks potluck was a big hit (for my guests and for me). So, I decided to do another one. I'm calling it the "Friends in OA" Recipe Potluck. The idea is 20 or people bring their favorite dish and the recipe so we all knows what's in it and no one breaks their abstinence. Then, if you like a recipe, take home a copy or better yet, I will post them all on this blog.

And lastly, on a sad note, a very good friend passed away last week after losing her 3 ½ year battle with ovarian cancer. She never had a day in remission and it was especially rough this year. Since her diagnosis, she really did live every day to its fullest and I know she is at peace now. She was only 49. Bernadette, I miss you.

Oh no, my first potluck!

I thank the Internet for teaching me how to cook. I watch a show on the Food Network or I read a recipe and ask: "What does that mean? How do I do that? How do I buy it?" I Google it! There is a YouTube video or an article on everything. So before, I would have been turned away, now, I am empowered.

I live in Seattle near a lake where there is a huge fireworks display every July 4th. Every year my neighbor and I open our condos up and host a potluck. Potluck—the OA'ers worst nightmare!

I nervously decided to step up and do it this year. This will be my first potluck since joining OA. I've been out to dinner and lunch several times and last week attended a small birthday party that was potluck style. I've been OK with the food (not perfect, but OK). About half the people coming are fellow OA'ers. I've done a little food coordination, but not much and I've asked people to think healthy in deciding what to bring. I keep telling myself that I am sending people home with their dishes when they leave. We will see what happens.

In the meantime, here's my dish for the potluck. It's my favorite salad. The original recipe called for jalapeños but as I was prepping everything one day, I looked in the fridge and my jalapeños had spoiled. My choices were to stop everything and go to the store or improvise. I live near two spice stores here in Seattle and I always have interesting spices on hand. I decided to add chipotle pepper flakes to the dressing instead. (A chipotle is a jalapeño that has been smoked and the chipotle flakes look like red pepper flakes but darker.) Wow! This was easier and tastier!

You may substitute your favorite type of beans for the black beans and garbanzos. Any firm bean will do. This salad will work as a main course and is very satisfying and colorful. I often eat this for lunch along with avocado that I cut up at the last minute. Unlike a traditional green salad, this salad can stay in the fridge for few days and still be fresh, so I never mind making such a huge salad in advance.

So here's the recipe as it has evolved over the last year. Please enjoy and let me know if you liked it!

Chipotle Bean and Pepper Salad

• 2 large red bell peppers, diced


• 2 large orange bell peppers, diced


• 2 large yellow bell peppers, diced


• 2 large red onions, diced


• 1 (15 ounce) can garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed


• 1 (15 ounce) can black beans, drained and rinsed


• 1 large or 2 small mangoes (optional)


• 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley (or use dried cilantro in the dressing)


• salt and ground black pepper to taste


• 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil


• 1 lime, juiced


• 1 lemon, juiced


• chipotle flakes, to taste

In a large bowl, mix the red onion, peppers, beans, mangoes and parsley. Season with salt and pepper. In a small bowl, whisk together the olive oil, lemon juice, lime juice, chipotle flakes, dried cilantro (if using), salt and pepper. Drizzle over the salad, and toss to coat. Refrigerate salad at least 4 hours before serving. Serve cold.

For variety: change up the peppers and the beans. For the dressing, use 2 limes and no lemon and mince up some cloves of garlic.

Tip: I saw Guy use this lemon squeezer on the Food Network to juice lemons and limes and could not get to Bed Bath & Beyond fast enough to buy it that day after doing this by hand. It yields so much more juice.

I am not a Chef, but I do Love to Cook!

Recently, several people in OA have asked me for abstinent recipes. So I thought I'd start a recipe section on my blog. None of my recipes are truly original. They are all adapted from other recipes. The Food Network, "Cooking the RealAge Way", etc. Even my first cookbook, "The New York Times 60-Minute Gourmet" has recently provided me with some fresh ideas.

Often, I start with a "new" ingredient, research that ingredient and find several recipes. I then combine those recipes into something I like. So I will share my recipes and give lots of variations. Since most of what I prepare involves fruits and vegetables, whatever I make that day is dependent on what I have on hand or perhaps what looked especially good at the market. If I make the same recipe next week, I will have a different combination on hand.

When I was in New York recently, my friend and I went to a neighborhood Turkish restaurant. There I had a Shepherd Salad. Since I'm not a big fan of lettuce (any kind), I am always interested in a salad made without lettuce. Once back home, I found several recipes and have put some of them together. What most of them have in common is tomato, cucumber and onion as the ingredients and olive oil, lemon, salt, pepper and parsley for the dressing. So here are some variations. Enjoy!

Basic Shepherd Salad #1

• 2 cucumbers, peeled & diced


• 2-3 tomatoes, diced & seeded


• 1 red onion, chopped


• 1 stalk celery, chopped


• 2 teaspoons good extra virgin olive oil


• 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar


• salt & freshly ground black pepper


• 1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese (optional)

Combine tomatoes, cucumbers, onion and celery in a salad bowl. Add vinegar and olive oil. Season to taste with salt & pepper. Top with feta.

For variety: add red pepper flakes for a kick. Or add fennel seeds. Or add parsley and dill. Or any of these in combination!
To change up the salad, add shredded carrots, radishes, green onions.

Tip: When I don't have fresh parsley on hand, I use dried cilantro as a substitute.

Basic Shepherd Salad #2 (with lemon juice)

• 2 cucumbers, peeled & diced


• 2-3 tomatoes, diced & seeded


• 3 green onion (white part only, sliced) or 1 red or white onion, chopped


• 1/2 cup flat-leaf Italian parsley, finely chopped


• 2 tablespoons lemon juice


• 2 tablespoons good extra virgin olive oil


• salt & freshly ground black pepper


• 1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese (optional)

Place all the vegetables in a medium size salad bowl. Add salt and pepper to your liking. Add the lemon juice, olive oil and optional feta.

For variety: add balsalmic vinegar, shredded carrots, use mint instead of parsley or add dill. Add red pepper flakes for that kick!

I'm Back from my Trip

Well, I'm back. And I'm still abstinent. I went back home for a week. I was so worried that I would be tempted by all the (junk) food in my mom's house. She has no food issues so she is oblivious to all this. But all my worries were for nothing. I came back at the same weight that I left. I lived by the motto that I learned in OA:

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

I brought food on the plane, I had my mom stock up on my abstinent fruits and vegetables and we went food shopping the next day for some additional items. I went out to dinner several times and ate moderately. In the evening after my mom had gone to bed, I went for my daily walk. So instead of feeling stuck in suburbia late at night with the TV and a bag of chips (my mom now lives in suburban New Jersey), I went out for a long walk and made one or two outreach calls while walking. It was great!

However, now that I'm back, I feel that I am getting "sloppy" in my abstinence. I don't know if that is the reason I've stopped losing weight or if it is because I've reached my ideal weight. I'm 5'8" and I currently weigh between 141 and 143 pounds. That's certainly OK. Is it ideal? I don't know. And I have such a lousy perception of my own body that no matter what I weigh, I always think I should weigh less. Grrrrr......

At my Sunday night home group meting, we do chips. So, I decided to ask for a "commitment" chip. Even though I was still abstinent, I thought it was important to recommit and not fall into the "what can I get away with" mentality. So far, so good. I feel stronger in my program and in my abstinence.

I'll post again soon. I've been thinking about what I'm missing out on because I'm so afraid of the food around me. Let's share that.

Day Two

Monday morning, there is a 10 AM meeting nearby. When the basket was passed, the leader of the meeting stated that newcomers are encouraged to buy literature instead. I walked over to the literature table and looked for literature not already included in my Newcomer's Packet. I purchased a few items. In just a few short hours, one of them was to become life changing!

It was a little 15¢ pamphlet called "JUST FOR TODAY". I will try to live through this day only...

After the 10 AM meeting, I walked Greenlake and then went home. I had lunch while reading my new literature. And there it was, just as I was struggling with the decision to go the cupboard for dessert.

"I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime."

And I got up from my chair and left the kitchen. Because I could pass on that dessert for 12 hours. The thought of never eating dessert again was unbearable. But for today, for the next 12 hours, it was OK.

And so with that my journey in OA began in earnest. I went to a meeting almost every day those first couple of weeks. At about the same time, I literally fell into my food plan. I saw the PBS special "You: On A Diet" with Dr. Michael Roizen, recorded it and watched it many times over, borrowed the book from the library, and eventually bought the book. It's similar to HOW and it's my bible!

I remained abstinent for almost 3 weeks before falling off the wagon on my one and only binge (so far). It may sound funny but interestingly enough, I am so glad it happened. I learned so much from that experience. Although the actual eating started on a Friday afternoon, after a meeting, the feelings had cropped up the day before. And that was really the trigger. I didn't know that then, but I know it now. Since that binge (a mini-binge actually), I've had plenty of time to analyze it and be prepared.

I made a "You-Turn" and got back on the wagon Friday night and began recovery again. Saturday morning, I started with my usual water aerobics class and a swim and remained abstinent. And I've been abstinent ever since. 100 plus days and counting...

I'm off to NY for a week to see my mom, go to a Yankees game and catch up with a friend. I will post again when I return.

My First Post

...and I am a compulsive overeater.

Wow! It felt good to say that.

I joined OA in January feeling totally helpless and powerless over food. As a New Year's Resolution, I had started a diet on January 1st. Between Christmas and New Year's, I had gained 6 1/2 pounds. All I thought about was food that week. So, at a plump 171 1/2 on January 1, I started a diet. The first week went well and I was back to my Christmas Day weight (165). But then the yo-yoing started and I was up and down, up and down. You get the picture. For the first time, I felt that I could not do this alone. I needed help.

After lots of searching on the Internet, my options were Alli (I had never tried a diet aid before and after reading about its side effects, I decided to pass on it), Weight Watchers or OA. Between Weight Watchers and OA, OA was free (except for the Seventh Tradition), so I thought I'd give that a try first. I actually thought I might not be heavy enough to join! I really thought you had to be obese to be in OA. When I weighed 250 pounds, I was obese. But I knew I was not obese now. Boy, was I surprised when I walked into my first meeting on January 20, 2008. There were people there of all sizes: thin, too thin, HWP, chubby and obese. I never made the connection that anorexia, bulimia and compulsive overeating were all part of the same disease.

I had a Newcomer's meeting where I mentioned that I was agnostic and concerned about the whole HP spirituality thing. It was suggested that I make the "OA meeting" my "HP" and work with that concept for now. Yep, got me right over that hurdle and into the program.

That was Sunday night, Day 1. I will talk about Day 2 in my next post.